How did I get here?

I knew. I knew as soon as I saw it… the flattening/dent at the bottom of my right breast. It was tiny, almost unnoticeable, but it wasn’t my “normal.” I flashed back to seeing a post that was shared on Facebook about how dents in the breasts are generally abnormal and can be indicative of breast cancer.

Stage one ductal carcinoma Natural treatment
I snapped this photo just before hearing the words, “You have breast cancer.” I think I wanted to capture the moment before I knew I had cancer, if that even makes sense.

I’m a mom of a 7-year-old little girl. I’m in my early forties, so I don’t spend a lot of time staring at my naked body in the mirror, so it was a freak-find for me to have even noticed it. I had just taken a shower, and I had raised up my arm to put on deodorant. That’s when I saw it… the dent that changed my life.

I gave it a couple of days, which is very unlike me when I’m absolutely panicked about something, to call my OBGYN. I kept telling myself, “it can’t be cancer.” I don’t even have breast cancer in my family. It’s the ONE cancer I had never really worried about!

I had hit my third year of another really frustrating health battle that had nearly taken my sanity and my life. Surely this can’t be? Will I/our family EVER get a break?! I remember crying out, “God, hasn’t our family been through enough?!” –right before I passed out from hearing the news. Luckily, the sweet radiologist caught me and prevented me from cracking my head open and needing stitches, right after learning I had cancer.

She reassured me that the cancer was small, likely stage one, but I didn’t hear much of what she said after the word cancer. I was trying to make sure I was breathing, so I didn’t collapse, again, but I didn’t feel like I was breathing at all. Hard to explain the out of body experience, but anyone who’s ever received horrible news knows exactly what I’m talking about.

She was telling me that this would likely all be behind me in six months and was just another bump in the road for our family. She felt confident radiation and a lumpectomy would do it, and she felt fairly certain I wouldn’t need chemo. I remember saying, “That’s good, because I wouldn’t even consider it, and I also won’t be doing radiation.” I try to avoid poison, when I can.

stage one invasive ductal carcinoma
Mammogram showing my Stage One Invasive Ductal Carcinoma.

Our daughter is a child actor, and she had just booked a pilot for the new series, Homeschooled, on Pure Flix. We were getting ready to leave for a few weeks to stay in another state while they filmed it. We were all so excited about it, and I remember thinking what horrible timing for this terrible diagnosis. I didn’t even want to go. I didn’t want to deal with anything. I just wanted to stay in bed, cry and eat junk food for the foreseeable future.

God’s timing is pretty amazing, though, and leaving to go to Ohio with Elizabeth to film the show was one of the biggest blessings of my life. We made such wonderful friends there, and after a few days, I ended up telling the other moms about my diagnosis. They couldn’t have been more wonderful and supportive. I made some incredible friends, who have lifted me up in prayer and checked on me after my surgery (More about my surgery and unconventional treatment plan in my next post).

The most important thing to note, and the reason for this post is — I NEVER felt a lump, even after my diagnosis. Neither could my OBGYN, the breast radiologist, or my breast surgeon. So please know, you CAN HAVE BREAST CANCER without EVER feeling a lump. That is so important. Most people associate lumps with breast cancer, and that’s the main reason I’m starting this blog. It’s my hope that other women are able to catch their cancer at stage one as, well. Dents, dimples or indentations in your breasts are abnormal and should always be checked out.

Dents often mean cancer. The dent/indentation in my right breast could ONLY been seen when I lifted my (right) arm. It’s an incredible miracle I caught it as early as I did.

breast cancer indentation
The small dent at the bottom of my right breast that was a result of breast cancer. It was completely unnoticeable unless I raised my arm, and it actually appears larger in this photo than it was. My doctors had trouble seeing it when I pointed it out to them.

This blog is a labor of love. As uncomfortable as I am sharing all sorts of details about my life, I’m doing it for other women – other moms, daughters, sisters, aunts, grandmothers.

Please share my story with the women in your life. <3

This blog is my personal story and the opinions expressed here are strictly my own. This content is for informational purposes only and shouldn’t be seen as any kind of medical advice. Please use any info on my blog at your own risk. I am not a doctor or medical professional. I reserve the right to change how I manage or run my blog and I may change focus or content at any time. Any information I provide is accurate and true to the best of my knowledge, but that there may be omissions, errors or mistakes.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *